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Retirement Wishes Funny

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Below you will find a carefully crafted list of messages for your special occasion:

Time to make your bucket list- from sailing to canoeing, you get the jist. So, have an enjoyous retirement.

Burn your alarm clock, your appointment book, your daytimer–but not my phone number. Keep in touch and have a great retirement!

So what are you still doing hanging around?…oh….Don’t let the door hit you on your way out! Hahaha….Have a good retirement old buddy!

Watch out for those Bannana Peels! Flying South for the Winter,

You’re not old because you’re retired, you’re retired because you’re old, so congratulations on being old, old buddy, old friend!

No suit. No tie. No problem. Have a great retirement!

Now that you’re retired, I have a few projects you could help me with…

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Wishing you a restful, relaxing and happy retirement.

You were one heck of a catch for this establishment. Now, let’s see how many fish you can catch from your lawnchair.

They say you are retiring, I’m wondering from what. It’s not like you did any hard work or anything.

Congratulations on your retirement! Now you can spend your days being more lazy than usual!

So you’re finally retiring! A few things before you leave … 1) No taking company supplies, 2) Turn in your I.D. card, and get your check, and 3) Take your stick in the mud with you cause the new guy has his own! … Ha Ha Ha Just Kidding!! Enjoy your retirement!

No more alarm clock, you can now relax and sleep all day. Enjoy your retirement!

You have to spend at least one week in your pajamas. The second week you have to wear flip flops everywhere you go. The third week prank call your office asking for yourself like 3 times a day.

Happy retirement! You’ve earned it.

Best wishes and Happy Retirement. We’ll expect you back by Wednesday to fix what we break.

Retirement, time to go fishing then exaggerate about the size of the fish

May You Have A Very Relaxing And Happy Retirement. P.S. Take Me With You When You Go To Maui.

Retirement: When not doing anything is the best thing you ever did!

At least now you can be a well-deserved couch potato! Have fun and enjoy your retirement.

I’ve been waiting decades for your job, enjoy the forced retirement mate.

A retirement is always welcome after giving your all for so many years. Have fun!